I had a dream
to live happily
to have no tension

to have good spouse
to have good relationships
to have enough to fulfill my needs
to fulfill needs of my family

though at every corner
I find troubles
I find broken relationships
I find adjustments in the name of mediocrity

where do I take my dream
to provide excellent services
to utilize my talents
to be what I am

to love and be loved
to trust and be trusted
to understand and be understood

Am I wrong if I think like this?
Do I think too ideal?
Do I think wrong?
Will I ever find answers to my questions?
I don’t know…

Will I ever live my dream?

All I can I do is live
and be happy in what I have
and don’t expect too much
may be life has only this much for me…

finally determinism is taking over
the truth..the undiscovered..we may never know
the mortal humans cannot understand life
just theorize it

soon I discover there is not fate
and there is no free will either
there is actually nothing
it is all perception
and acceptance of perception
which makes the world go round

so why I want to be happy if there is nothing
nothing was there, nothing is there, nothing will be there
it is all perception
perception of love
perception of money
perception of knowledge
perception of incompleteness
perception of self

nothing is here…

If I have to give only one point that makes or break the marriage; It is TRUST.
All of other points converge into it. Let me explain this.

Situation 1: Disclosure of PAST
It’s better to disclose every bit about you from your past so that if something from the past comes up tomorrow in your relationship then both of you should be aware of that. What’s the use of hiding something? If your only fear is, what if your partner leaves you after knowing about your past. Well, if this much is the insecurity in your mind then how about this thought; your partner will still leave you if tomorrow he/she comes to know about it. Let’s say your partner comes to know about certain things about you after marriage which you were hiding from him/her before marriage, then do you think that your partner will forgive you? Your partner will doubly punish for not disclosing the critical facts about you. The results could vary from temporary negativity in a relationship to a permanent strain in relationship. Now, what if your partner finds something from the past which creates a BIG problem in your present, then things may end up on a bitter divorce. The key here is being truthful with each other, which in turn creates more trust.

Situation 2: Everyday CHAOS
Every relationship goes through ups and downs and people dynamically adjust with each other depending on the compatibility of their personalities. If you truthfully acknowledge the similarities and differences in your opinions and create a code of behavior or method for handling daily arguments, then you could create a feeling of mutual understanding between you and your spouse. The key thing here is to be vulnerable enough in front of each other. It takes lot of courage to accept your weaknesses and becoming vulnerable. And, when you think about being vulnerable then you could think about having enough TRUST in each other’s intentions that no matter what you say/do in front of each other your partner would understand you. Even you should have enough trust in your partner to have disagreement about something but still remain stable and rational with each other.

Situation 3: Achieving BIG THINGS together
Building a home, raising kids, buying a car are some of the big things which couple expect to achieve over their lifetime. Here the trust is required terms of realistic planning, financial planning, being confident about each other’s abilities and so on. If couple adjusts with the bitter reality that money is not easy to earn so they should spend wisely and save-and-invest more, then this creates a beautiful harmony in their life. The key thing again goes back to trust in one’s self and each other.

Situation 4: FIDELITY
This itself is a clear example of trust. If one partner is not sexually satisfied due to any xyz reason, then putting enough trust in other half can make all the difference. Say one person starts making a complaint about the other regarding in-bed performance. Then if the partner who is being accused responds positively (instead of thinking negatively) to the spouse’s requirements and starts giving more time to each other and makes substantial effort to improve the in-bed performance then spouse does not have to go anywhere else for satisfaction.

If your trust level is maintained on daily basis on all the fronts viz., emotional, mental, physical and spiritual then you have entered the life which could bring you peace of mind, satisfaction and inner-strength.

and yes, TRUST has to earned not taken for granted. Each day we earn trust of each through behavior, our hidden thoughts which partner cannot read and open thoughts which our partner can read, or daily efforts towards each other which show the partner that we love them. My thought is if you have to say the other person “I Love You” every time, then you are not in love. If you can prove to other person that you love them through daily actions (no matter how small) and behavior then you don’t have to say I love you, your partner just knows it

Take care and god bless ya!

How do I decide if I am doing the right thing?

By what standard do you personally make moral decisions? For example, many people adhere to a particular religion and use it as their moral compass. Others simply do what feels right at the moment.

According to me the right thing is:

- Which is right by moral/ethical standards.
- Which is benefit for me and others as well. I would think in order of priority of being beneficial to me first then others except in the family relationships or someone I love or care for.
- Which is based on truth (core facts) regardless of circumstances.

How do I trust anyone?

What do you believe about people? Are the generally good or generally bad?Do you consider yourself trustworthy? Why or why not? What do you believe is the risk if you trust others? What is the risk if you chose not to trust others?

What do you believe about people? Are the generally good or generally bad?
- I believe that people are generally good. But, I think this needs to change because generally people will think for their benefit, just like me. Sometime, they stoop down to any level to make the things agreeable to them.

Do you consider yourself trustworthy? Why or why not?
- I do consider myself trustworthy because I can keep confidential things to myself only. I do not ditch others. I do the things allocated to me in a proper manner. I know and understand my responsibilities (personal and professional). However, there have been times but less than 1% when I was not trustworthy and suffered the consequences for the same. Now, after understanding the reasons behind that behavior, I am correcting myself in order to remain trustworthy at all times. I know it is difficult but if you choose to do something then it should be 100%. This is what I believe in. Period.

What do you believe is the risk if you trust others? What is the risk if you chose not to trust others?
- If I trust others completely then there are greater chances of me being manipulated by them as this has happened in the past. If I do not trust others then I have to sacrifice my good behavior with them because then i will start asking too many questions and I will end up in managing too much. I think I scared of managing too much but I if I trust others then I can let go various checks and make managing others easier. However, this is not the best way always. May be, I need better answers.

How do I predict human behavior?

Why do you want to predict human behavior? What is the outcome you are looking for? Can you predict your own behavior? What would change in your life if you could predict the behavior of those around you?

Why do you want to predict human behavior? What is the outcome you are looking for?
- I want to predict human behavior so that I can avoid being cheated or manipulated. Some humans are so funny that if there is greater self-benefit then they would go to any level to manipulate other person in order to make that happen. I don’t know know why I attract these kind of beings and end up in being manipulated and loosing just too much time, finances and energy on them.

Can you predict your own behavior?
- It is difficult to say that I can predict my behavior 100%. I might predict 75-80% of my behavior and trying to predict lot more. Since, my actions are the result of my impulses, my thoughts and ultimately my ability to control all of them (comfortably or uncomfortably). Because, I cannot control everything about myself, so I cannot predict 100%. However, I have very clear value based decision making structure which allows to take right/tough/intelligent decisions. Therefore, even if I go wrong, I can correct myself. I understand it might be late sometimes. Now, I understand that I need to take the predictability score to 90-95% because that will give me greater control over my own life
and will make me more successful.

What would change in your life if you could predict the behavior of those around you?
- I would see myself as successful in relationships (specially intimate ones) if I can predict human behavior successfully. Definitely, I would clearly know how much I have to give to the particular relationship and when to retract (if necessary) and when to go ahead. I would make my life and those of others (dealing with me) more comfortable and predictable.