I close my eyes to see the world
I close my eyes so that it won’t hurt
I’m sailing on blue ocean and flying to you

I catch my breathe under the full moon
A star that shines, so pleased to meet… you
Maybe I’ll dream forever
And I’d like to love right here

Before the night ends
And dawn of a new day dawns
How I hope, how I hope
That out of this endless blue
Somehow I will find you
Before the night ends,
Before the night ends

I made a choice more than a few times
To walk a road that didn’t end up so right
But I want to go the distance
I’d like to love right here

Before the night ends
And dawn of a new day dawns
How I hope, how I hope
That out of this endless blue
Somehow I will find you
Before the night ends,
Before the night ends

Close my eyes…
Never gonna let up…

Before the night ends
I hope I find you

Lyrics courtesy: LyricsMania

A beautiful song by Yanni, captures the essence of longing of a beloved. Somehow, I will find you before the night ends… listen this song with your eyes closed.

How you react determines your experience, not what happens to you.

I remind myself of peter, paul and mary song ….

how many roads a man must pass, before they call him a man, the answer my friend is blowing in the wind, the answer is blowing in the wind…

When does a male knows that he has left the joy of being young and fresh and entered into a world or more responsibility, where he cares not only about his viewpoints but others as well, where his frustrations are translated into a calm demeanor and he becomes a rock instead of free flowing feather. When he starts taking care of near and dear ones, his parents, his wife, his kids, his colleagues and he starts taking more responsibility towards completion of his commitments and understands the value of being punctual and consistent. Are there any signs which he notices inside his psyche, inside him which are the changes which tell him that transformation has started? To be honest, I don’t know,  I am not sure if what I am feeling is marking my transformation from boy to man. Anyhow, I would like to share what I am feeling now, on my blog with the readers.

I feel…

I am becoming more courageous,

I am becoming more certain,

I know that the world cheats but I am going to make my point anyway,

I know that nothing comes out the way you expect and change is inevitable but I go forward and do whatever I have to do,

I am becoming more self-centered,

I am becoming concerned about how to preserve respect and dignity of my near and dear ones,

I am more concerned about sustainability of myself and my family now,

I now take a stand and do not accept the wrong things,

I am clear about where I want to go in life,

I know I struggle but when I know the reason I feel okay,

I have stopped treating myself as a very important person now, I treat myself just like anyone else now, that does not I don;t care about myself, what I mean is I feel that I am just one of the persons in world and therefore, I keep myself aligned with the reality,

Is this how a boy feels when he is growing up?

I looked at money , it made me happy,
I looked at family, it made me happy,
So, what makes me more happy out of these two?
I looked again…
I get disturbed when someone in my family is disturbed,
whereas, I don’t get disturbed when I loose money,
I am not able to work properly when my mom is disturbed,
yet so many times,
I work late for money….
Why? Because I love money,
Does money give me all the satisfaction?
No!…
As I continue to expand my role…
in this world…
I need people around me to be happy,
else I will also be tensed…
if I can have enough money to pay bills and save for future ,
I am happy,
I don’t need money at the cost of my people (my family or colleagues),
But does keeping family and friends happy… and earning enough keeps me happy…
No!
I have to keep my environment happy,
that calls for empathy,
and experiencing how everyone is connected… from within
Will having enough money, satisfactory relationships, taking care of environment … makes me happy,
No!
I have to be happy from within,
How?
True knowledge yield to true happiness…
What is the true knowledge?
This is what I am figuring out,
In the mean time…
I choose to live with Positive attiude,
I choose to take Life as it comes,
I choose to experience Impermanency of everything,
… and my heart dives back into peace,
this peace might be an illusion of momentarily satisfaction,
I don’t know!
yet I choose to remain at peace,
as long as I can remain.