Love…gone with the wind

A real story that brings the truth of impermanence of relationships. This letter is a clear example of how one partner can easily cheat the other behind his back. It is a true story, just some names have been changed to protect privacy.

This is an actual letter written by a guy to the girl who was not true to him. Usually, we hear these stories but never come to understand the first hand experience about the pain/love which went into a relationship.

Read this letter and do comment about your feelings.

_______________________________________

Hi Sukhanaya!

No matter what you say or do… I am not going to trust your words because they are as deceptive as your thoughts and your personality. Frankly, sukhanaya I have lost all respect for you and I was wrong in trusting you at the first place. I never went to any place from last so many months. It is nothing but creation of your own mind. Since Jan/Feb, you were thinking seriously to end this relationship. Your behavior, your attitude was changing so fast and suddenly from march middle onwards you always had less time for me. You were picking up fights for small little issues. You lost interest in intimacy because you were getting some intimacy (physical/emotional) from other place. I have enough proof of your being intimate with harry. Now, you know even if I imagine that you are doing s** with someone else, it doesn’t hurt me at all. Because, you are quite a pleasure oriented person. You take pleasures from what is available to you right now. For you, commitments have no value. For you, truthfulness is good till the point as long it helps to serve your pleasures. Your main reason for breaking off with me is not your mom, but your attraction towards and your intimacy towards harry. You may not tell me the other reason but in your heart you know what the truth is. And, I am happy that I found the truth. If you were seriously getting attracted to him then what was the reason for playing with me. May be you were taking time to test the waters, like he loves you or not and could you live happily with him or not?
Anyways, it’s your life and it’s your choice.

And yeah… I think you are changing your phone number. Listen, I have deleted all your phone numbers from my cell phones. In sometime, I will forget them from my memory too. And, why should I call you? The girl who cannot even have that much respect to pick up the phone and talk to the person she says she loved…. what kind of self-respect I would have if I keep on calling you again and again. I am not a coward. Theek hai, life is testing me, its fine! I expected that you will stick to me but expectations do go wrong. So, did mine. And, its okay. Life is like this. I moved on and living with this change. Frankly, I am quite satisfied that I broke up from a girl who was such a FAKE person. One day, it was bound to happen. Don’t think that you could spoil my life by leaving me in this situation. In fact, within a week I am well, I am okay and this is the fastest recovery for me. I am doing good. Now, I realize that you have told me so many lies, hidden so many important things, your involvement with me was nothing more than superficial romantic – no depth at all. And, that is why I forgot you just like that. It was like ….something was there and now it is not there.

And, you know what, last day when you were talking to me, I knew gary has not told you anything, you didn’t check shushant’s system either and all the hue and cry you made was all artificial. I knew on that day at that moment only but just wanted to know how much you could say. Your actions were just directed towards discovery of truth from me and making me convince that how faithful you were to me. But, I was just playing along (may be, I hurt myself in the process, but anyways, it’s okay). Do you think I have taken any medicines? You are wrong. I just wanted to know how you could easily become emotional with me and make me convince that how much you cared for me. All Fake. Had you been really caring for me then you would not have stopped talking to me and at least have dropped me an email, if I am okay for the courtesy sake after few days. Throughtout the relationship, you have always shown your emotional behavior towards me and get my soft feelings for you whereas inside you know how devious and hard you are. I was just wondering with all the faith in god and positivity, your tendency to harm others hasn’t changed a bit. How you could feel peace of mind? What will happen if same things happen to you or your family? May be it doesn’t matter to you because you have never really thought about it.

And, you know why I was always stressing on the things that you should do this/that so that baby/child will grow like this…I did it for a reason because many times I felt something was wrong somewhere. It was just not right. And, just few days before the breakup I had a dream of monster trying to scare me off and whose face was none but you. And, again after few days I see you dead in my dreams. Few days after, it happened. You are dead. You are dead for my love, you are dead in my heart, you are dead in my mind. Even if you come in front of you, you will still be dead. You no longer exist in me. You are dead in every place inside me.

Anyhow, this post relationship analysis tells us sometimes the value of what we lost. And, if I have to value my relationship with you like how big this is as a loss…then I would say not much. Because, you cannot loose something you never had. You were never committed, never completely truthful, never controlling your actions behind my back, never faithful towards me. And, whereas, I was giving you time always, I was involved in your life in every moment…advising you, caring for you and your care never went beyond ki aaj khana khaya ya nahin. You were never involved in my life. It was me who was involved in your life. All I had to do was just pull my care back, pull my love back, pull my involvement back and after that nothing was left because you have never given me true care (however, you did listen me very well in august-october) but again you were never involved in my matters in the truest sense. Am I in pain or not well, didn’t really matter for you too much because you were never really involved in my pain. You were asking no questions from me on how can I control the pain…how can I improve, etc. and you know when I pulled back everything which I gave you, I was left with nothing, because in truest sense you never made me feel that I was in love (may be on couple of occasions, that too after I insisted) and you know how can I ever loose your love when I never had it. It was me who was pulling/pushing the love. You were just playing the role but never involved. Your involvement, you passion tells other person how serious you are about something and you were not passionate about me. So, when I pulled my love back I was left with nothing and this was helpful because I had so many less things to forget which were mostly mine. And, I was at peace again – still at peace. May be going through some random thoughts and conflicts but still peaceful. Now, this one is the bottom line that how you feel once you end the relationship. Let’s say you did not do anything wrong but the main question is not this. The main question is, how much you loved me? And when I answer this question all my doubts get clear, I see the direction that you never really loved me except on few romantic occasions. Like inside me it was all my love for you but where is your love? I cannot find it. You never loved me to the greatest depth that will make me feel that oh! I have lost such a precious thing. I was under the illusion that your superficialness is the greatest love but ultimately when I look inside me, I could not find your love.

Where everything has gone in couple of days? The truth is that it hasn’t gone anywhere but in fact, it was never there. It was just my own force which was making me see it. Now, my force is not there, so love is not there.

Love brings trust, power to commit, power to remain faithful, power to see reason, power to protect and care. And, when you…look inside …you’ll find that….. nothing was there. Your love towards me could not make you commit, could not make you remain faithful, could not make you see reason, could not make you protect me and care for me… then all your love was nothing but superficial.

And, if you see my love I was protecting you, caring for you, involved with you, was faithful and truthful to you..as long as it lasted. I was always there for you even on the higher level. But, you were not there for me.

How can a relationship survive without love? It cannot. So, it’s good that it has ended.

End of the story.

I am back at peace

PS: Actually… the reason I need my belongings back fast ..because I don’t want to remember you for too long. May be you can courier them today or if courier is expensive for you, then may be you can send them through speedpost from postoffice.
And one more thing, your orkut status message says you are comitted. Anyways, I should not poke my nose around…. chalo leave it…whatever…. it’s your profile and it’s your life. We have already delted scraps of each other. You were the first one to do it. May be the song on your profile WAS not for me. It was just another illusion for me. Now, it is for someone you are actually commited to… or may be it was always for HIM… you know it better than me.

Anyways, enough!

Bye.

________________________________________________________________

Now, after reading the whole letter you might be feeling what is right and what is wrong? Why the girl was cheating the guy who was in so much love with her. The guy, who was treating her fake personality as a true one.

I thought the same. In fact, the only truth is impermanence. No relationship will last forever. People will keep using others for their self-benefit. Like in this case, the girl turned out to be a dubious personality who was double-timing the guy.

Anyhow, I personally know both the guy and the girl and all characters involved so I know what has happened. This letter is true.

Guys, do comment about your feelings/thoughts.

Related posts:

1. J. Krishnamurti on Love  THE DEMAND TO be safe in relationship inevitably breeds sorrow and fear. This seeking for security is inviting insecurity. Have you ever found security in any of your relationships? Have you? Most of us want the security of loving and...
2. Is Love Impermanent?  Oh, really! This question I am repeatedly asking myself after being disillusioned by the benefits of love; some of them include emotional support, physical gratification, someone to talk to when you are feeling down, financial support at times, someone to...
3. Love is …  Love is always patient and kind it is never jealous love is never boastful nor conceited it is never rude or selfish it does not take offence neither it is resentful love takes no pleasure in other people’s sins but...