If I have to give only one point that makes or break the marriage; It is TRUST.
All of other points converge into it. Let me explain this.
Situation 1: Disclosure of PAST
It’s better to disclose every bit about you from your past so that if something from the past comes up tomorrow in your relationship then both of you should be aware of that. What’s the use of hiding something? If your only fear is, what if your partner leaves you after knowing about your past. Well, if this much is the insecurity in your mind then how about this thought; your partner will still leave you if tomorrow he/she comes to know about it. Let’s say your partner comes to know about certain things about you after marriage which you were hiding from him/her before marriage, then do you think that your partner will forgive you? Your partner will doubly punish for not disclosing the critical facts about you. The results could vary from temporary negativity in a relationship to a permanent strain in relationship. Now, what if your partner finds something from the past which creates a BIG problem in your present, then things may end up on a bitter divorce. The key here is being truthful with each other, which in turn creates more trust.
Situation 2: Everyday CHAOS
Every relationship goes through ups and downs and people dynamically adjust with each other depending on the compatibility of their personalities. If you truthfully acknowledge the similarities and differences in your opinions and create a code of behavior or method for handling daily arguments, then you could create a feeling of mutual understanding between you and your spouse. The key thing here is to be vulnerable enough in front of each other. It takes lot of courage to accept your weaknesses and becoming vulnerable. And, when you think about being vulnerable then you could think about having enough TRUST in each other’s intentions that no matter what you say/do in front of each other your partner would understand you. Even you should have enough trust in your partner to have disagreement about something but still remain stable and rational with each other.
Situation 3: Achieving BIG THINGS together
Building a home, raising kids, buying a car are some of the big things which couple expect to achieve over their lifetime. Here the trust is required terms of realistic planning, financial planning, being confident about each other’s abilities and so on. If couple adjusts with the bitter reality that money is not easy to earn so they should spend wisely and save-and-invest more, then this creates a beautiful harmony in their life. The key thing again goes back to trust in one’s self and each other.
Situation 4: FIDELITY
This itself is a clear example of trust. If one partner is not sexually satisfied due to any xyz reason, then putting enough trust in other half can make all the difference. Say one person starts making a complaint about the other regarding in-bed performance. Then if the partner who is being accused responds positively (instead of thinking negatively) to the spouse’s requirements and starts giving more time to each other and makes substantial effort to improve the in-bed performance then spouse does not have to go anywhere else for satisfaction.
If your trust level is maintained on daily basis on all the fronts viz., emotional, mental, physical and spiritual then you have entered the life which could bring you peace of mind, satisfaction and inner-strength.
and yes, TRUST has to earned not taken for granted. Each day we earn trust of each through behavior, our hidden thoughts which partner cannot read and open thoughts which our partner can read, or daily efforts towards each other which show the partner that we love them. My thought is if you have to say the other person “I Love You” every time, then you are not in love. If you can prove to other person that you love them through daily actions (no matter how small) and behavior then you don’t have to say I love you, your partner just knows it
Take care and god bless ya!